Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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