I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This house was built for laser tag.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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