U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
