My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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