Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
