Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
