Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
