Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
