This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
