It's just like the Real World with babies
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
