You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
