The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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