Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my being single is dangerous.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
