Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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