the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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