In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
