i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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