Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
