If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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