Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
