JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
