I'm drive I can fine osifer
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
