Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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