Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
