it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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