you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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