not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
