Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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