i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
