I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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