Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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