I hate your face
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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