Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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