It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
