im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
