If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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