i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
