I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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