Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
