don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
