Those balls look pretty dangerous.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
