Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
