dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
