I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
