i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Fuck appropriateness.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
