To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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