Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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