so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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