mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
