And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
