I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
