he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
