Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
In America we eat man semen.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
