she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
